Lost

My letter to you~

I don’t even know where to begin or what to say. I have been contemplating writing this letter now for 3 days of or if I should just walk away and not say anything at all, but I know it’s tearing me up and I know I won’t get the proper closure if I don’t say anything and I just can’t deal with the tears anymore. Do I tell you how hurt I am? Or how I feel betrayed, or lost? I guess this letter will be a random of thoughts that I hope you can follow and understand. I have always been real with you where I am in life and how I feel and I wish I can say the same about you, but right now I am just at a loss and feel that all those words you said of love, forever and marriage was just some lie.

You see since we stopped talking in April I kept telling myself he’s busy with work, he’s keeping himself busy because in August he’s coming to me and we can finally work on us, start our life and get married as we talked about! So as the days passed I focused on school, I got no phone calls, no letters and yet I still made excuses for you, he’s working, focusing on him, getting ready for us.

Every day I would reread things between us, look at your pictures and every day I prayed to God that you were ok, and prayed that Gods plan will finally bring you back to me. Until a few days ago when I watched my life crumble before my eyes, seeing a picture of you and some girl, of course, I wanted to see who this woman was that captured your interest, I was saddened to see that she posted the picture of you on her profile April 25 so I guess that explains a lot to me! I am so hurt that you couldn’t be honest with me again; please explain what I did to you to deserve this? Explain while all I did was be there for you, support you and love you, you found a way again to destroy me. Am I not worthy of you, your love or your honesty, don’t I deserve the truth.

I don’t understand why you couldn’t have written me that just simply said, I met someone, would your honesty of hurt, definitely! But it hurts me more that I found out the way I did, that I wasn’t good enough for the truth! Without communication there is no relationship of any kind, without respect, there is no love, and without trust, there is no reason to continue! Am I right? When love is real it doesn’t lie, cheat, pretend, hurt or make you feel unwanted. It’s supposed to be a cure to all your worries.

I fell so hard for you, I loved you, and you destroyed me, played with my heart and emotions and toyed me, I was so foolish to believe that you cared and loved me like I did for you! I want to be with someone who knows exactly what they have when they have me, not someone who will realize it after they lost me! And someone who loves me truly loves me wouldn’t put themselves in a position to lose me.

I guess it’s my own fault because the more chances I give the more respect I lost. My standards began to get ignored when I let you get comfortable in knowing that another chance will always exist. You depended on that forgiveness, I feel like your backup chick when no one else is around you’ll call me but when they next girl puts her interest in you, I don’t exist.  I will no longer be a slave to apologies you should have treated me right the first time. I am not saying you should be afraid to lose me, what I am saying is I am NOT afraid of walking away.

And when your family asks about me and you find yourself thinking back on all our memories, I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: “she loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I destroyed her.”

The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too… Because in every relationship there comes a point when the damage is too much and no matter how good it once was, the memories can’t sustain you. You have to save yourself knowing all the while it will hurt like hell, because you can’t keep giving someone everything if you get nothing in return.I have always wished you the best, and I truly mean that.  I wish you well; I hope you find what you are looking for, and that you can find true happiness.

Me~

I Know You Love Her.

If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be with her. But since you’re only a human being with variable emotions, you might be inclined to love her in all the wrong ways.

A healthy, happy relationship can transform into a destructive one if you treat her less than how she deserves to be treated.

Nonetheless, I hope you try to love her right. I hope you cast every ray of awareness upon your love for her. I hope you know that awareness is what keeps a relationship strong.

I want you to remember how she looked when you first laid eyes on her. She was everything you longed for. Be it her beauty, her wild nature, her sense of humor or her independence, there’s something about her you haven’t found in anyone else.

And what floored you the most was her completeness.

If you love her, keep her this way. Keep her beautiful, keep her wild, keep her complete.

While she’s the master of her own fate, I wish you understood that you play a major role in her life. How you treat her determines how she views herself—you can make her shine or make her feel lost. She’s a statue in your hands and she only hopes to be held with vigilance.

If you love her, don’t destroy her.

Know that she was destroyed before and another destruction isn’t what she’s aiming for. If she’s with you, know that she has stepped over her fear and insecurities to be with you. She has stepped over her past and decided to give love another chance. She has entrusted you with the health of this relationship—and with her heart.

Don’t let her down.

You destroy her the moment you think you know her. She’s not a book you will eventually finish. She’s something yet to be discovered—so live every day as if you’re meeting her for the first time.

Be present. Nothing destroys her more than your emotional absence. You can sit with her all day long and not really be there, yet you can be so far away and be completely present.

Stimulate her thoughts, her emotions, her being. Dive into her soul like you’d dive into an ocean.

Know that you’ll wreck her if she ever felt you need her rather than want her. You’ll destroy every inch of her if you only love her when loneliness creeps up on you. Because she seeks your love in all moments, not just when your fears and insecurities strike.

I know that your own past sufferings may have destroyed you. But don’t love her just so she can carry your emotional baggage with you. Don’t love her if you only want her to fix you. Know that she will, with time, without you even knowing.

Her love and existence will heal every part of you. But if you are with her solely to fill the emptiness inside you, she will know—and it will destroy her.

And remember, she doesn’t want to be fixed either. Maybe she opened up to you and told you about her painful past. Perhaps you know the exact number of pieces she was turned into. But she didn’t tell you so you would fix her—she only told you so you can know what she endured and how it made her who she is today.

She wants you to acknowledge that your actions toward her—actions motivated by love, understanding and patience—are what matter.

Don’t treat her like a broken woman. She is complete with all her pieces, even though they may still be scattered everywhere. Embrace them with her—just don’t add to them. Make her see why she went through destructive relationships in the past. Make her realize that she went through the “worst” so she could appreciate the “better” that you are.

If you love her, love her with all her flaws and insecurities. She is as imperfect as you are and she only hopes to share that imperfection with you. She wants to undress her soul in front of you and be utterly herself.

She wants to be the same way with you that she is in the mirror—crazy, wild and free. If you’re not ready to accept her as she is, you will destroy her.

If you love her, build her up because she will be doing the same for you. Know that whatever effort you put in, she will be putting in double.

If you show her the moon, she’ll show you the entire galaxy.

If you take her to a well, she’ll introduce you to the ocean.

If you treat her right, she’ll love you more.

If you love her well, she’ll never forget you.

~E.Y.

Live For Today Not Tomorrow

Boy: I broke up with her.

His Best Friend: What happened?

Boy: She’s just too much for me.
His Best Friend: What makes you say that? What did she do wrong?

Boy: Well, for one… She only cared about her appearance. Always had to look good, always took forever to get dressed! So insecure…
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she wanted to keep your eyes locked on her? She wanted you to see that you have the prettiest girl under your sleeve and not think otherwise? I see…

Boy: Oh.. Well… She’d often call me or text me asking where I am, who I’m with, telling me not to smoke, not to drink. She’s so clingy!
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she cares about your well-being? Because she cares about you a lot? And her greatest fear is losing you. I see…

Boy: But… Uhh.. Well, she’d always cry when I say something slightly mean. She can’t handle anything. She’s a crybaby!
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she has feelings? And because she just wanted to hear you say you love her? I see…

Boy: I.. Well! You know, she’d get jealous easily. I could barely talk to other girls! She’s so annoying! I had to hide it from her so she wouldn’t bitch about it.
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she just wanted you to commit to her? She thought you were faithful, but you lied so she could find out later and hurt even more? She just wanted the guy she loves the most to love only her. I see…

Boy: Well, she…
His Best Friend: You broke up with her because she’s good for you? She just wanted the best for you? She’s broken now because you were selfish. Are you proud?

Boy: I broke her heart… Because I couldn’t see what was happening.. What happened to me?
His Best Friend: You lost the girl that loved you like no one else could. You see? You didn’t want her when all she ever wanted was you. THAT’S what happened.

SOMETIMES we don’t realize we are losing a diamond while collecting stones…
“Guys don’t let her go… she is the only one”…

Think about it, when she’s too much for you… She just wants the best for you. Because to her ,YOU’RE the best. If you don’t like something, talk to her about it. You mean so much to her. Don’t just give up. Don’t just leave because you want the easy way out.

Sometimes she cries at night
Telling God “I’m suffering inside”
(Nobody there) so she laid her head and cried

Baby I see you trying
And I see you crying
Look beyond your fears and say
Baby I love me this way

No one can bring me down
Not even you
Get off my back
I’m telling all the world
I could make any change in the world
But I feel so beautiful
Just the way I am

Let me tell ya
It starts with you inside
You gotta say now baby you’re worth it
Baby I believe in you

Im Not Perfect

My one and only!

I can’t begin to even tell you how light you have made my heart with your phone call. Your voice puts my soul at ease, to know that I was the first person on your mind. I have missed you more with every passing day, with every passing minute. And if I haven’t told you lately I want you to know how blessed I am to have you in my life. I was asked the other day why I love you the way I do. What makes you so special; here is the answer I gave. While mistakes have been made; I never once have felt I needed to hide who I was with you. I can complain about my bad days and each time you listen with an open ear, telling me how the good Lord above will take care of it as long as I put my faith in him. You have believed in me from the start those many years ago, and you always seem to show me the silver lining in what seems to be a down situation. You love me for my flaws, my imperfections, my insecurities. You look past my mistakes and love me for me. We fit together, we understand each other, our souls are connected in a way that makes me believe in the happily ever afters, the fairy-tale, that true love does exist. I couldn’t ask for a better man in my life. I dwell on the day that God brings you back into my life. I know that you haven’t really left as I get to interact with you all the time, what I mean is, to do our thing, walks on the beach, late night dinners, snuggling and movies, arguments to make up to, inside jokes. The part of life that we are missing out on; when I explained that to my friend; all she could say “I hope I find a love like that one day.” I love you with all my heart, all my being, all of me.

When we say our “I Do’s” it’s not really going to matter whose there, what song is playing in the background. I’ll know at that moment when I see you at the end of the alter waiting for me that at the moment my life will be perfect.

Until that day my love I will carry you in my heart!

I love you always.

Your Wifey

Never give up.

I used to think I was proving how strong I was, how unselfish I was, and how worthy of love I was by refusing to give up on the ones who were incapable of giving me the love I was longing for.

I was so programmed to believe that love would conquer all that I couldn’t see that there was nothing loving in the way I was allowing myself to be treated, all in the name of love.

I was blind to anything else except that this is what real love must be.

After all, I had always heard that anything worth having was worth fighting for. That to get to the good part, you had to go through the bad.

So I assumed that it was through giving so much of my own heart and soul that I would eventually be rewarded with the love I was searching for. That in unselfishly giving of all the love I had in my heart, I would receive the same kind of love back in return.

I resolved to never give up.

Stand By You

Put your empty hands in mine…And scars…Show me all the scars you hide…And hey, if your wings are broken…Please take mine so yours can open too….Even if we’re breaking down, we can find a way to break through …Even if we can’t find heaven, I’ll walk through hell with you…Love, you’re not alone, cause I’m gonna stand by you!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To the Girl Who Feels Like She’s Not Doing Enough

The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people. —

 

You’re exactly where you need to be right now.

Feeling uncontent with yourself or your life keeps you hungry and it keeps you moving forward. Because that feeling you have – that nagging feeling that tells you that you’re not doing enough – that feeling will make you transform your life.

I promise that anyone who thinks they’ve got it all figured out is settling for something okay or sort of good enough.

You’re not settling.

The fact that you feel this way – like you’re not doing enough with your life and you’re behind where you’re supposed to be for your age tells you that you care. You give a shit.

You feel this way because you know that there is much more inside of you than what you’re currently offering the world. And I’m telling you, that feeling is rare.

You know there’s something bigger.

You know that there’s a bigger, better version of yourself to bring to life. You just haven’t gotten there yet. But in order to get there, you must first feel what you’re feeling now – not content.

This is such an important thing because it means you’re self-aware and you don’t want to settle – and that’s the first and most crucial step towards change. So many people stay where they are – emotionally or physically – because it takes courage to endure the sharp pains of self-discovery to cultivate the life you actually want to live.

Understand that you’re doing more than okay.

You’re actually doing pretty damn great. I promise that anyone who feels like you do, that there is more to them than what they are doing now, is on their way to an extraordinary life – a life that they know they are meant for.

You don’t get what you truly want by staying comfortable. You get what you want by doing exactly what it is that you are doing right now – which is constantly wondering and questioning, feeling uncontent and lost.

Don’t regret anything.

Mistakes are inevitable in a life worth living. As long as you learn from them, mistakes are very important. They teach you exactly what you want and who you want to be.

Everything that you once did was fueled by something that was inside of you then, with the knowledge you had at the time. Trust yourself. You did it for a reason, don’t regret it. Whatever you did was more than enough because it brought you to where you are now – which is alive, aware, passionate and hungry. What’s important is the right now. The new.

Enjoy the ride.

Don’t worry – you’re on your way to being happier than you have ever been before – but for now, let yourself be a little bit lost. Because being uncontent forces you to think and realize everything that is holding you back from creating a life that you want to live.

In the words of Robert Hughes,”the greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize.”

So be uncontent, strive for more, but know that you’re going to be more than okay.

Feeling like you’re not doing enough with your life and you’re behind where you’re supposed to be for your age will make you so hungry and desperate that you will have to transform your life – you will grow, you will evolve, and you will tap into that extraordinarily blissful life that you know you are meant for.

 

Great post!!!

 

 

 

BE YOU

BE YOU

A great inspirtaional video by Trent Shelton, follow him on Twitter @trentshelton

TRUE INSPIRATION

12 Little Known Laws of Karma (That Will Change your Life)

What is Karma? Karma is the Sanskrit word for action. It is equivalent to Newton’s law of ‘every action must have a reaction’. When we think, speak or act we initiate a force that will react accordingly. This returning force maybe modified, changed or suspended, but most people will not be able eradicate it.

This law of cause and effect is not punishment, but is wholly for the sake of education or learning.

A person may not escape the consequences of his actions, but he will suffer only if he himself has made the conditions ripe for his suffering. Ignorance of the law is no excuse whether the laws are man-made or universal.
To stop being afraid and to start being empowered in the worlds of karma andreincarnation, here is what you need to know about karmic laws.

1. The Great Law

• “As you sow, so shall you reap.” This is also known as the “Law of Cause and Effect.”
• If what we want is happiness, peace, love, and friendship, then we should BE happy, peaceful, loving and a true friend.
• Whatever we put out in the Universe is what comes back to us.

2. The Law of Creation

• Life doesn’t just happen. It requires our participation.
• We are one with the Universe, both inside and out.
• Whatever surrounds us gives us clues to our inner state.
• Be yourself, and surround yourself with what you want to have in your life.

3. The Law of Humility

• You can’t change something if you refuse to accept it.
• If what we see is an enemy, or someone with a character trait that we find to benegative, then we ourselves are not focused on a higher level of existence.

4. The Law of Growth

• “Wherever you go, there you are.”
• For us to grow in Spirit, it is we who must change, and not the people, places or things around us.
• The only given we have in our lives is ourselves, and that is the only factor we have control over.
• When we change who and what we are within our hearts, our lives follow suit and change too.

5. The Law of Responsibility

• Whenever there is something wrong in my life, there is something wrong in me.
• We mirror what surrounds us, and what surrounds us mirrors us; this is a Universal Truth.
• We must take responsibility for what is in our life.

6. The Law of Connection

• Even if something we do seems inconsequential, it is very important that it gets done as everything in the Universe is connected.
• Each step leads to the next step, and so forth and so on.
• Someone must do the initial work to get a job done.
• Neither the first step nor the last are of greater significance, as they were both needed to accomplish the task.
• Past, Present and Future are all connected.

7. The Law of Focus

• You cannot think of two things at the same time.
• Because of this, when our focus is on Spiritual Values, it is impossible for us to have lower thoughts such as greed or anger.

8. The Law of Giving and Hospitality

• If you believe something to be true, then sometime in your life you will be called upon to demonstrate that particular truth.
• Here is where we put what we CLAIM that we have learned into actual PRACTICE.

9. The Law of Here and Now

• Looking backward to examine what was or forward to worry about the future prevents us from being totally in the here and now.
• Old thoughts, old patterns of behavior, and old dreams prevent us from having new ones.

10. The Law of Change

• History repeats itself until we learn the lessons that we need to change our path.

11. The Law of Patience and Reward

• All rewards require initial toil.
• Rewards of lasting value require patient and persistent toil.
• True joy comes from doing what we’re suppose to be doing, and knowing that the reward will come in its own time.

12. The Law of Significance and Inspiration

• You get back from something whatever you have put into it.
• The true value of something is a direct result of the energy and intent that is put into it.
• Every personal contribution is also a contribution to the Whole.
• Lackluster contributions have no impact on the Whole, nor do they work to diminish it.
• Loving contributions bring life to, and inspire, the Whole.