Author: beYOUtiful
Embracing the Hate
A few days ago you blew up my text with just such hatred and mean and negative things. I was mind boggled, in shock and awe, and just plain dumb-founded by your words, realizing your words weren’t yours but hers!
I figured out a while ago that you’re with her and I’m ok with that as long as you’re happy. What I don’t like is you’re ok to talk about me even though I stood by you. You’re ok to let someone disrespect me when I’ve never done that to you. And I can’t fathom why she needed to start drama when I haven’t done anything wrong, sad what jealousy will do to a person!
No one has ever heard you speak ill will or down to me and they are just as baffled as I. I don’t know what to think, I’m at the point where there just is never going back, how do you forgive someone that is ok to purposely hurt you intentionally?
But as I am told, You don’t! I did my thing and if you’re not willing to forgive yourself then it’s your burden to carry. That is your sin! God always has a plan.
It’s sad to have that rejection. It’s not my burden but my heart that is heavy! I know God has a plan, I know God wouldn’t give me more than I can handle but I ask myself 20 years of love, support and comfort for you and you’re ok to break me. I can’t tell you what a hold you have on me, maybe I was hoping, a small chance that you actually cared or that all the lies you told me were small truths.
What I want
I love the person that you are so when you ask me what I want from you.
I want a friendship that was lost many years ago. The support that I don’t have whether I’m having a crazy day of tears and self-doubt about who I am or a great day because at that moment I found my strength. Understanding that I am broken flawed and imperfect and validation that who I am is ok and that what I do is ok.
So if you can do that that would be perfect. There is no doubt that the love I had for you never really went away and I want to get to know you. No strings attached whatever comes…comes. But I DONT want to lose you again.
Broken
Sadly it wasn’t until just a few days ago that I realized it was time to finally move on, I know sad and pathetic but when you love someone you look past all their faults, mistakes and imperfections. I had a great relationship with you and believe me I was even thrilled when you asked me to marry you, we picked out a date and everything. But what took me forever to realize is that you never loved me the way I did you. With all your empty promises, your lies, and games, don’t get me wrong I truly love you. I just know that loving you has to be from afar cause you are ok with breaking me. I know pathetic! For 20 years I would have done anything for you and the friendship we built over the years was still very real for me, we talked all the time, exchanged texts, letters, phone calls, video chats, a family and so much more, and then one day you forget about me!
I deserve God blessings and even if it took me so long to see my worth, the best part is that I’ve found my worth. My heart breaks there is no denying I need to find my happiness in the midst of wrongdoings.
You wont dim my shine I’ve polished off and will now shine brighter for the one who is truly worthy of my love. I am a beautiful person amidst my adversity.
And sadly the prince who was willing to give you the stars became the villain!!!
I finally know my worth!!!
I think I am so over it, no I don’t think I know I am. I used to look at your pictures and just get so happy now I am just so over the bullshit, lies, and games with you!
I told you that if he found someone to go and be happy. But, what pisses me off is how I find out, like man up! You talked all this bullshit of marriage and the I Love You’s but couldn’t be honest about some girl. Didn’t have the courage to tell me. I have spent the last 20 years praying you would actually love me, and f$#@ what a damn waste that was.
I am done. I think I have been done for a few months now cause before I would look at your pictures, letters, texts and video chats, after the letter I sent you confronting you on how hurt I was how you had nothing to say in return all those memories of happier times got deleted or trashed. I wish you well I do and I pray your life is a good life fulfilled with all you hold dear.
I hope you NEVER have to look back and feel regret or ever have to feel the pain I have had to endure that was caused by you.
I want NOTHING to do with you and I think I am finally OK with that.
I now know my worth took me awhile but I’ gonna do me without you!
Truth about life
6 Differences Between A Man Who Loves You And A Man Who Is Poisoning Your Life
- Respectful vs. Tolerant
- Encouraging vs. Controlling
- Honest vs. Cruel
- Affectionate vs. Clingy
- Protective vs. Possessive
- Serious vs. Interested
To The Mom
“To the mom hiding in her bathroom, needing peace for just one minute, as the tears roll down her cheeks..
To the mom who is so tired she feel likes she can’t function anymore and would do anything to lay down and get the rest she needs…
To the mom sitting in her car, alone, stuffing food in her face because she doesn’t want anyone else to see or know she eats that stuff…
To the mom crying on the couch after she yelled at her kids for something little and is now feeling guilty and like she is unworthy…
To the mom that is trying desperately to put those old jeans on because all she really wants is to look in the mirror and feel good about herself…
To the mom that doesn’t want to leave the house because life is just too much to handle right now…
To the mom that is calling out for pizza again because dinner just didn’t happen the way she wanted it to…
To the mom that feels alone, whether in a room by herself or standing in a crowd…
You are enough.
You are important.
You are worthy.
This is a phase of life for us. This is a really really hard, challenging, crazy phase of life.
In the end it will all be worth it. But for now it’s hard. And it’s hard for so many of us in many different ways. We don’t always talk about it, but it’s hard and it’s not just you.
You are enough.
You are doing your best.
Those little eyes that look up at you – they think you are perfect. They think you are more than enough.
Those little hands that reach out to hold you – they think you are the strongest. They think you can conquer the world.
Those little mouths eating the food you gave them – they think that you are the best because their bellies are full.
Those little hearts that reach out to touch yours – they don’t want anything more. They just want you.
Because you are enough. You are more than enough, mama.
You. Are. Amazing.”
Everything is temporary
Your good times are temporary and your bad times are temporary. So when you’re up, enjoy it, bask in it, and be grateful for it. And when you’re down, know you will get through it. Know that it’s not the end and that it’s just a rough patch. Life is full of twists and turns, ups and downs, and surprises.
We forget that it’s about the journey, not the destination.
Recognizing the full worth of your hardships and your blunders is key to appreciating the journey. It’s just as important to stay humble and be grateful for the joys life brings you.
Everything is temporary, so make the most out of all of it.